And there have even been studies on it... if you let people know what time the next train arrives, they're less anxious. If you let people know how long the drive will take, they're less likely to speed, even if it means they'll be late... in this age of cell phones you can just call can inform your party.
No is just... no. How do you get around that? No. It's a denial, a wall, a deep dark hole... No. You need more letters to create or even insist! No is just an ending. What comes after no? Silence.
Dealing with no is hard. I know. I have hard time with no. I had a mother who would pull out no first, even if it was something I desperately needed. So I learned how to out stubborn her. That has been a boon and a bane in dealing with doctors. Some react just like my mother and I eventually win them over with facts and evidence. Some are like my ex-boyfriend who take no to a level of extreme heights, you need a telescope and a star chart to see them.
"Yeah?"
"You can see a flag that says "NO!" just beyond that horizon."
"Oh yeah, now I see it!"
But no is not always defeat. Our path from our birth to death is rarely a straight line! Or at least you hope it's not... it either means your life was very brief, or it means your life was very boring. Both are horrible outcomes! No, when it's followed by helpful or better information is actually a good thing.
Did my father die of a heart attack at sixty? No, he got to a cardiologist and they were able to put stints in, avoiding the heart attack. Were we able to make our flight? No, it got canceled due to weather, but we met this marvelous couple in the lounge while waiting for your next flight. They were going elsewhere, so we never would have crossed paths otherwise! Did you graduate with a chemistry degree? No, I got an English degree, but I combined it with my love of computers and became a technical writer instead of a doctor. I can still practice my craft, even if I'm not employable in the traditional sense. I could feel a lot more useless than this! lol
No can also mean no, not yet. But as I mentioned before, that's just means waiting, and I'm cool with that, as long as there's a payoff. Some say, A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush! And while that may be true, there's also the marshmallow study which shows children who can resist temptation are more successful later in life. And I've seen that in my life on the daily. When I'm able to be patient with others, they relax and are more willing to work with me. Patience is an amazingly powerful skill. I may want things to be Right Now! and Quick Like A Bunny!!! But that doesn't mean everyone else wants it at that speed. Some people just don't move at that speed. Others just prefer to savor life's moments. Still more just can't go that fast, and that's okay. So no can mean, no wait a minute, let me explain.
My apologies for the lateness of this post, I meant to write yesterday, but the muse had not yet arrived. Thank you for being so patient! ^_^
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