Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Wisdom of My Grandmother

When my grandmother's friends started turning 60, she griped, "they've all turned into such babies! Whining all the time..." and then she stopped her self. "Wait... I've had 30 years to get used to what is just starting to hammer them now." And she gave them a lot more grace and patience after that.

Modern society doesn't get being sick, let alone chronic illness. There are over the counter medications to make sure you don't lose a day's productivity at work, or miss a day of school. There are health supplements you can take if you're healthy to keep from getting sick from all those contagious people who are "toughing it out". There are vaccines for the flu, pneumonia... Those magic legs they featured on Glee are even real. We're living in the age of miracle science, right??

I'm gonna let my geek colors fly and quote the Princess Bride on this one: "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." 

I hate to let my youthful idealism die, but man... if it isn't a medication they're trying to sell or trying to get some research grant or something... if there isn't money involved for someone somewhere, don't expet to find altruism in it's place.

I have to remember when dealing with 'normies', that they've been sold on this marketing campaign that there's a pill or treatment for damn near everything, with the implication that they all work. Or if not, there's always some miraculous technology right around the corner, with the implication that everyone who needs one will get one regardless of cost. Or that there are social programs that take care of these needs these poor, suffering people have (never mind that in reality it's largely rationed, sub-standard care).
I came in the ring like a dog on a chain
And found out the underbelly's sicker than it seems.
And it gets ugly, but it can get worse...
-Linkin Park, Empty Spaces

It's at this point I've got to sigh, take a deep breath, and understand they are virgins trying to explain how to handle sex... They mean well, because they want to be helpful and informative, but frankly, they're talking out their derrière. Once time catches up with them and they start facing similar problems, they'll get it.
It's not the mistakes that matter, it's our recovery from them that counts.
-Deng Xiaoping
No matter what happens, it's dealing with what has happened that's important. The fact that it has happened is done. It may be a mistake of my biology through no fault of my own. It may be a mistake that I made that landed me in a world of mess. Doesn't matter. How I deal with any situation is what's important. I don't have to be perfect. I don't even have to be graceful. And sometimes, giving myself some breathing room of doing nothing but daily coping is part of that recovery. Giving in for a while doesn't mean giving up.

I have found that being able to grip to people who know where I'm coming from really helps. One awesome set of message boards is available at There's a lot of support there from people who really understand. And The Spoon Theory is just awesome.

Good luck.

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