I believe in using denial as a tool, sure. But I also require that before that tool is used, I take responsibility. I never use that tool to deny my responsibility or my part in something. That's just being an adult. I will believe that people are basically good, but I'll also lock my car doors and the door to my house even if I'm home. It's one thing to be hopeful. It's quite another to be delusional.
I don't delude my self to the fact that kids like to create mischief and go through unlocked cars. They may also take high-priced items they think they can move on eBay. When I was a kid living in New York, every house on our street got robbed... twice. Except ours: we had a very noisy German Shepherd. Hope for the best---prepare for the worst.
Sometimes that means swallowing a bitter pill of "my part" in a situation. I don't always get things right. I may think I see reality, but I could be reading the signs all wrong. I may be missing some key piece of information that unlocks a mystery and changes my perception of the whole situation.
When I get that information, and I realize I was seeing everything wrong... oof!! That's a blow to the ego. "Aw, crap!! I hoodwinked myself! D@mnit... *sigh*" Then it's time to look at things under this new light and change my behavior to match reality.
I may have used this analogy for acceptance before, but here it is again. It's like when I'm driving in traffic. I may not like that the car in front of me has slammed on its brakes, but I'm going to hit my brakes in response. I accept reality, even though I may not approve. Otherwise, I may crash.
But then after that difficult work of the soul is done, then I can allow my spirit to soar. I can remind myself that each day is an opportunity to do another great thing, share another cool insight, discover some new wonderful media. Life is hard, sure. But it doesn't have to be a drudgery.
Interesting slant on 'denial' and 'reality'. I find that the truth (reality) sets me free but sometimes I need someone else to point it out for me. For instance, had a bad day yesterday, more depressed than usual, felt like a wasted day, and as I crawled into my bed to end yet another day of depression, my husband pointed out to me what I had accomplished that day: rubbed his sore back, made supper, prayed for a friend. That was a lovely wake-up call. The day did not seem so wasted after all. He just told me the truth, the truth I could not seem to access on my own.
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