Monday, November 9, 2015

Life is a Double-Edged Sword

Now that I'm the age equivalent of the answer to "life, the Universe, and everything," I'm hoping to grow in wisdom. For my birthday, I "celebrated" with a double dose of ER visits. It wasn't my best birthday, but then I've had worse too. I've been on this earth long enough to have a number of educated complaints, but I can also have a sense of humor about it too. That's the way it is with law, which a lot of people don't realize. Words are a double-edged sword. They can cut, and they can heal. Medicine is a double-edged sword: it can hurt or or can harm. Information too: your data can be used to redeem you, and it can be used to bury you. It just depends on which side of the sword you're on: the cutting edge, or the flat of the blade.

Stories are like that. Who you're cheering for really agrees to the side with whom you most identify. We all can skip over the bits we don't like, or are too boring for us, and find the plot which interests us. It's a field of study called semiotics, a part of language that acts as signs and symbols we can all follow like a roadmap. But the direction they take us is not necessarily where we think we're going.

I had a great exchange with the doctors yesterday. I know I can get combative with doctora. It's not something I do on purpose. Hurt, confusion and fear easily lead to anger. They can also lead to submission. It just depends on what sogns we see in other people's language as to which road we end up on. I had a moment when I didn't understand what the doctor was telling me. I had a feeling she was not as well informed about endocrine issues like I had. Whether or not I was right really doesn't matter. She was seeing a pattern that I couldn't see, and in it there was something that worried her. She was able to explain it to me, and suddenly, I relaxed. Yeah, it meant getting a spinal tap on my birthday, but at least I was in the clear for meningitis!

On my way out I ran into a man who had been thrown out by the doctors from the hospital (contrary to popular belief, they can throw you out or keep you as long as possible at an ER, the only recourse is medical malpractice, if you live, can afford the attornies, and win your case). He was hostile, and the people there didn't understand his difficulties were not because he was messed up or drug seeking, he was still recovering from a stroke. But piss the staff off or anyone else, and they'll throw you out as equally skillfully as they will treat you.

So yeah, they doctor hit a nerve in my spine, but it wasn't as bad as the first spinal tap I had where the poor student really jabbed me, and the doctors didn't bother to tell me to take it easy afterwards. Apparently I have tough skin, too, probably a side effect from my Sjogren's, but at this point who can say if it isn't from the nerve damage in my skin too? Sometimes my Sjogren's is in remission and I sweat like normal. Other times I don't and save money on underarm products.

It's the same way with medication. It can heal, cause harm, or get you high. Truthfully, the drug doesn't care which it is. Crestor can save lives, or it can cause paralysis. Marijuana can get you high, hungry, and horney, ot it can take away pain, instill joy, boost proper immune and endocrine response, and heal PTSD. It can make you forget, or it can help you remember. Any medicine can do that. Any medical prodecude can do that. Is having a permanent condition bad? Sure. But not so bad if you consider the alternative was dying.

In Iceland there's a saying: it's not the drugs who make the addict, it's the need to escape. What's the difference beetween a food addiction and drug addiction? You can't quit eating food. But then it's just as dangerous to avoid all drugs. Christian Scientists have a huge problem with early mortality for that reason. Heck, you can get a prescription for oxygen, and that stuff is free in the air! Oxygen is a drug that causes euphoria. But you don't want to quit breathing just like you don't want to quit eating, just like drugs can be helpful, harmful, and fun all at the same time. Life is a double-edged sword that way.

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