Sunday, January 19, 2014

Why comedy?

When I was younger, all I ever wanted to be was cute & funny. When I was sick, any time I could laugh was another reason to live. The situation was never so bad that I couldn't laugh at it. Anytime I was overwhelmed at work, I knew all I had to do was wait. Pretty soon things would get so absurd that I couldn't help but laugh. It helped me cope with my pain and helped others cope with my pain, too. Nothing was ever so terrible that wasn't also funny.

So when I heard this comedian just come out on stage and announce, "Good evening, I have caner! How are you. I have cancer. Great to be here. Cancer!" and everyone laughed and applauded, I was floored. This was new. I have lost friends and family over my illness, ruined a marriage, imploded my career, left me childless, homeless, hopeless... and here she was parading it on stage and people loved it?!? Sign me up!

I seriously can't wait. I know the adrenaline is going to make me sicker than a dog, and the second I get off stage I'm going to need an emergency shot, but WOW. If I can make all of this funny, the nights hugging the toilet praying for death, the terror when death agreed to take you up on the offer, the humiliation and shame about wanting to die and not wanting to die at the same time... you mean... that's funny? That's not a drawback but an asset??? You mean the worse my life gets the more it's comedy gold?

I'm RICH!!!!!!

I just found an effing winning lottery ticket for billions. If tragedy + time = comedy, I've got both in spades. I could start this tonight!

But I also know that it's going to be brutal and ruthless and I am a frail and delicate flower. But it can't be any worse than what I've already been through! I know my disease is going to kill me and cause horrendous pain. How much worse could it be to shine a spotlight on it? It's not like I've been shy....

So I'm really looking forward to this. Be sure to stay tunes for the launch of Denver's new Comedy Production Company, Gräfenberg Productions. We're going to put Denver on the map!!!

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