Sunday, May 31, 2015

More Than One Right Answer

I was asked the other day how I keep my faith (in a God of my understanding) when I've had so much happen to me. A friend was trying to play the "Have you tried" game with my migraines. I gave her a few tries & then I explained, in order to be considered a candidate for the experimental ONS device, it had to be show that I had vigorously tried every available option in 2007 and have it fail. I was among a handful of people arcoss the country allowed in. And that's when she asked me, how do I still have faith?"

It reminded me of a time when I must have been four, and the whole family was playing a game of I-Spy. We would get the color, and the first letter of the name of the object, and then we had to find the thing my parents had in mind. They had said, "Red, B!" And I had come up with "Red Ball," which was a piece of a toy I had, not the whole object, but I figured it was close enough. My answer surprised my parents, and they had to admit, yes, I was just as right even though I hadn't found their answer.

There are more right answers out in the world than are available to me. When I was a part of that study, it was one of those miracles of luck where all the right people are in the right place. Oh, that doesn't exclude one really bad apple from being in the mix, and in charge... But still personal miracles can happen despite even rotten folk.

There is so much more going on out there than any of us are aware of, good work by amazing people who are changing the world and even they can't know the true future impact of what they do. Even though I still struggle with disabling conditions, there is progress going on everywhere, progress in me that I cannot see yet, progress in the world around me that I haven't met yet.

The same is true for you. As long as you can hang in there in the best spirits possible, that gives you a chance to meet those opportunities. I know that sometimes my biggest foe is my own doubt, and that I have to have faith that whether or not I get better, that life on the whole can get better, giving me more encouragement to fight the good fight. There will still be times when I'm knocked down and question, but if I'm honest I question success too, so who am I to judge?

Dealing with chronic pain is soul-stealing, of that there is no doubt. Pain robs us of quality of life and robs us the ability to participate in Life. It's the latter which is the most damaging because participating in Life is what allows our souls to grow and overcome those stolen pieces. Even if we must suffer in a tortured body we cannot escape, the beauty and awe of life can be a balm against pain. Connecting with others and being part of a group can invigorate more than any elixer.

The longer I live, the more I see how limited even my imagination is. I may think there's only one right answer for my life, and I have to have that right answer or I'm doomed. Yet the more I see and discover over time, the more I find there are several right answers out there. More than I know. More than my doctors know. More than any of us know...

And in that space of the unknown lies all possibility for you and me. You can have faith in that.

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