Monday, April 2, 2012

#HAWMC - A quote that inspires...

There are two that I used in combination to get me through my worst times: The key to walking through Hell is: don't stop. and Don't leave 5 minutes before the miracle. That, and a lot of medication, got me through four and a half years of epic pain. All I had to do was get through enough time until they were able to design a device that stopped the status migrainous (a fancy term for a migraine that doesn't end). Give it enough time, things will change.

I hang in for five minutes, and if the miracle hasn't shown up yet, I still need to give it five minutes. I do that little bit by little bit until I'm able to string together hours, days, years. Now, I do have a threshold. I don't just let myself suffer. When I get to a point where I could no longer get myself somewhere safe if I waited longer, then it's time for Urgent Care or the ER. I have to be functional enough to keep myself safe as an adult. If I'm too blotto from pain, that's no good. I move through my five minutes with wisdom, not just blindly. And then eventually---or not - I could always die first and then it wouldn't matter! Lol---but most of the time eventually, something gets discovered, something gets designed, some new day dawns, and everything is different.

That's why I'm more a supporter of tenacity over hope. Ever heard the phrase, "Don't get you hopes up..."? Hope can really, really hurt if all it is, is one disappointment after another. There is such a thing as burnout. And if your disease is anything like mine, the symptoms can last longer than I'm able to stay optimistic. Additionally, what do you do after you've been told, "I'm sorry, we have no more options for you." Do you go home and lay in bed waiting for death? No! You find a doctor that has better belief in the possible and you continue on. I've been told that no less than five times, and they were still all wrong. Ha! (Granted they weren't wrong when they said it, but they're wrong now and that's what matters! ;)

The way I see it, I can hope for a cure, and hurt in the longing, or I can not care if there's a cure or not and get on with the business of the here and now. If I end up in the land of my dreams, great. In the meantime, let's deal with the more practical present moment. If the present moment is so dire it requires escape, let's focus on building our sense of humor about reality, not dreaming and lost in some fantasy. I can end up jealous and resentful of my dreams. I can fear that the ability to fulfill my dreams is passing me by (biological clocks are mean like that). Focusing instead on what I can do in the here-and-now gives much more tangible results.

So those are the two quotes I use to keep going:

The key to walking through Hell is: Don't stop!

Don't leave 5 minutes before the miracle.

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