Monday, April 14, 2014

Well that's just Crazy!! #HAWMC

What's the craziest thing you've heard about your disease? That's easy: "I'm afraid if I sleep with you, I'll catch your migraines." Yes! The award goes to my ex-husband in the second year of our marriage. It didn't last much longer than that.

When I heard it, I literally had to repeat it back to him. "Let me get this straight..." (If I start a sentence like that, it's over.) "You're afraid that if you sleep" (I made a gesture to my pelvis) "with me" (once more for emphasis) "you're going to catch my migraines??" (Hands on my head so even a child could understand...) And he, with all the innocent earnestness he could muster, said:


As if he's just admitted to shooting my dog in a hunting accident.

I was so shocked it was just a beat, but the silence between that and what happened next was also like an eternity. He actually wanted me to believe that. Regardless of whether or not he believed it (which I found highly unlikely), he wanted me to believe it! otherwise he wouldn't have said it. In that pause, all his hopes were riding on me believing that.

I burst out laughing.

He was clearly crushed, and hung his head.

I laughed even harder.

Between breaths, I was saying it again. "If you sleep" *laughter* *gasp* "with me" *laughter**gasp* "catch my migraines??" Ahahahahaha! "You're kidding me right?" *laughgasp* "It doesn't reach that far!!!" Ahahahahahaha!

He rolled over. I left the room.

That was his reason for not sleeping with me for almost a year.

The following month, I filed for divorce.

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